A Nipple Slip and More...

So yesterday I went to my spin class again. I'm actually a little ashamed to say it was probably the most interesting class I've ever been to, and very eye-opening. Before I explain exactly what happened, let me just establish the setting:

So, there are three rows of spin bikes, and all of them face a mirror and the instructor. I was in the second row, and like everyone else, I don't just look in the mirror at my posture, I look around and see how everyone else is doing too. Some of the stuff you do during class looks/sounds kinda stupid, so I just want to make sure that I'm not the only one that looks like an idiot.

Anyway, there's this girl older lady, probably in her 60's, and she's wearing this really low cut, almost skin colored, V-neck, halter top thing with no bra and we just so happen to be doing "jumps", where you're constantly going from a sitting to a standing position on the bike. Well--I'm sure you could guess what happened next. One of her boobies fell out of her top and I guess she was just so focused she didn't really realize it. I was in instant shock, and the instructor--a slim, little older man--was trying his best to tell her to put her boob away. His little bald head was so red.

I looked around the room, and it was the strangest thing: Nobody else seemed to have noticed it. I couldn't be the only one witnessing this... I looked around for other shocked faces, but only met one other girl who seemed to confirm that I wasn't going crazy, and we really were looking at a straight up nipple. The next glance I had towards our senior exhibitionist--her breast was loosely tucked back in her shirt. Needless to say it totally threw off my breathing and my momentum, but I'm a little ashamed to say that it was totally worth it. Not in the sexual way, but in the "finally something interesting happens" kind of way.

Today was a decent work out. Just worked out arms and did 25 minutes or so on the elliptical. That area under my arm pits hurts. Told my trainer about the boob slip, and he wasn't as shocked as I thought he'd be. He was more interested in who's boob it was than the fact that there was a boob at all. I guess that's a man's mentality for you. Makes me wonder if he sees this kind of thing often. I'm not that much of a weirdo, but seeing a nipple when I shouldn't see one kinda makes me giggle. I wonder if people ever really grow out of laughing at this kind of stuff.

Tomorrow's another spin class. I secretly hope to see some boob--metaphorically speaking of course :) ;)

Week 2 & Recap

Last week went pretty great. Friday I convinced my husband to come to the gym with me. We worked out shoulders, chest, and back, and then did about an hour of cardio together. Afterwards, we played a little basketball. We both kinda suck (in my opinion :)), so that kind of made it more fun.

What's terrible about going to the gym though is that my daughter still needs to get used to strangers. For about 20min while we were there, we spent trying to calm the little one down. Between her teeth and the separation anxiety, I can say that I can expect to be called to take care of her probably about 90% of the time I work out. I love my baby to death, but sometimes I just don't know what to do...

We didn't end up working out on Saturday, as we wanted to spend more time together as a family. We actually ate pretty terribly, and I'm sure it set me back on my weight loss goal. On Sunday I went for my run, pushing baby along in her jogging stroller--probably a little more difficult than running on a treadmill empty handed.

Today was nice, except for the fact that I spent a third of my personal training time trying to calm down my crying baby. Worked legs and abs. Not a very bad work out.. Cardio felt good. Between doing the C25K and the interval training on the eliptical, I covered a little more than 4 miles.

Tomorrow's spin class. Bought some new shoes, so I'm hoping it works out pretty well. Can't wait to try them out :)

Half Way Through!

So today really reassured my decision to have a personal trainer. I must admit that I tried weight training by myself before this, and never have I really known how much I could push myself, and how many different ways I could exercise the same muscles. The motivation provided can't be replicated, and I know that I'm doing the right thing to get the results I want.

We worked the upper body today, utilizing free weights and a few machines in ways I've never done before. But it felt good. It didn't feel like I was stressing my muscles out too much, and the extra person there telling you to keep going is really reassuring. Right now that's what I need. I keep making excuses not to work out, and that's not right...

Tomorrow is another spin class and Week 2, Day One of the C25K plan. My legs hurt pretty bad, so I should probably rest them. I think we'll see tomorrow.

But right now.. I'm feeling good. Optomistic. Pumped.

Day "Number Two"

Today was pretty intersting... Last night my baby was being pretty cranky so I slept with her on the couch. I woke up to the smell of stink, having found that our 1+ year old dog took a nice, runny crap next to the sliding glass door. That's poop number two in the house within this last week. Oh, and he peed on the corner of my couch on the same corner where my daughter and I were sleeping. So.. needless to say I wanted to get started on cleaning right away. It was just a series of events that I kept building up in my head, giving myself excuses NOT to work out today...

Yesterday I hurt so bad from my tough leg workout with my trainer that I kept asking my husband (who is a certified Cross Fit Trainer), if he thought that I should still go to my spin class today. I love him to death for telling me to go, because if I hadn't I would've felt pretty bad. Good for him for not being an enabler :)

I guess it was good though, since about 5 minutes after I was on the bike, it actually started to feel pretty good on my legs. I made it through 45 minutes when someone from the day care came by and said that my baby was being unruly. I guess she wouldn't stop crying, so I had to get off my bike and get her. Determined to still get a good work out, I put her in her jogging stroller and went for a 30 minute run, completing my Couch to 5K workout and then some. I'm pretty proud of myself for that, actually.

So today's workout:

Cycling Class (45min)
Couch to 5K (20min)
Running / Walking (10min)

I am still struggling a bit with my diet, particularly carbs. The reason why is because I always look for "fast" food, like breakfast bars or frozen waffles. I think I'm going to try to make more salads. I think when I have a little more time this week, I'm going to put salads (without dressing) in tupperware, so that way all I need to do is just grab it and add dressing. Maybe that'll help.. Ah, well, I guess I just feel optimistic right now :)

Tomorrow's another day with the personal trainer. At least it's not my legs anymore. Mmm.. the smell of Icy Hot.

Before and After.. a little different

Before having my baby, I never really had a huge weight problem. I was always in an area where I felt comfortable, though I always felt that I could probably do better. I could be better. Though my weight was never really an issue, my self-concept was never on the up-and-up. With that said, today was the first day I had officially dedicated myself to losing weight.

I took pictures. As painful as it is for me to expose these to people... I know that facing my insecurities is a major factor in my motivation. So I'm going to do something a little different. I'm going to post a picture of me before my pregnancy, and then after... I know most people's before and after is (larger weight vs smaller weight), but I'm hoping that exposing these images will fuel my ambition:

Before (June 2009) - Approx. 105 lbs and a few weeks pregnant

After (June 2010) - Exactly 130lbs

I know it seems as if my weight loss isn't that "extreme," but anyone who chooses to embark on this journey knows that this is not an easy task, no matter what the number. It disgusts me to see myself this way.

Please don't get me wrong and think that I'm the type of person who dwells on this. Though I hate my weight and what it's done to my esteem, I still love my life and my family. I am grateful for the things I do have. I just wish I had a little less of the stuff around my middle, thighs, arms, calves, neck.....

The Pledge

My baby was born near the end of February. The pregnancy was tough on my little body, and because of complications, my activity level was severely limited. Though I gained the most precious, sacred thing I could ever live to know, I also lost a lot of myself.

Being a new mother comes with a catalog of new experiences, frustrations, demands... My daughter consumes my life, and though I love her with every breath of my soul, I know that with my new parental responsibilities, I've forgotten who I really am. This lack of identity causes so much anxiety that I know it hinders the intimacy between my husband and me. He suffers because I hate my body and I don't know the person that I'm supposed to be. I quit my job to be at home with our infant; I've started going back to college; and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. In addition, we have the added challenge of raising our child in a multi-racial and multi-faith home. Everything is new and the adjustments I've needed to make--and still need to make--are difficult to say the least. There are times when I want to just break down.

Before, I was adventurous. I loved being outdoors and experiencing the world. I had so much energy, spunk, vivacity, and I want that back. I want to rediscover myself. I want to love my life and want to share that confidence with my little girl.

I'm writing this because I think that somehow it will make this more real. I will be held more accountable for my actions if I just write it down. Also, I want to say I am confident in myself, and I want everyone to know that losing weight is entirely possible. Anyone can do it.

This is my pledge:

• I want to lose 30lbs.
• I want to be able to run a 5K by September.
• I want to be able to run our household without feeling bogged down or tired.
• I want to eat healthier.
• I want to raise my child in an active home.
• I want my self-confidence back.

How am I going to do this?

I joined a gym. This is something anyone can do, and prices are fairly reasonable for the average person. There are daycare services available, which is great for moms. I also am utilizing a personal trainer. I want to work out 5-6 days a week, working on my cardio and strength training.

I am going to try to make more meals at home, and I'm utilizing online cookbooks for healthier meal options that can be made fairly quickly.

For my 5K goal, I am actually going to test-drive the app called "Couch to 5K" (C25K) available on both I-Tunes and the Android Market. This is a 9 week program, which is just enough time for the 5K I want to run in September: The Warrior Dash.

I actually pledged my weight loss goal to the Pound for Pound Challenge.

I've also joined a few local mom's groups on Meetup to help get my child started in an active, social environment.

I am going to consistently track my progress on here. I'm hoping that my posts will not only help me feel more accountable, but will also motivate others to pursue a healthy, balanced lifestyle.